So it's finally Saturday: officially 23 days cancer free!
Last week was busy with the garage sale, this week was busy with my brother in town and reviewing David's paper to make sure he graduates!! Finally, I will have a little break! I'm headed to California (in about 5 hours actually) for some relaxation! I'm excited to sleep in, take a nap, sit at the beach and watch my friend surf (if she wants). It'll be a nice trip!
Wow, what all have I done this week? Getting better at morning routine with the girls. Have to find a way to fit in the walk after I take the girls to school. THis week we thought our puppies had parvo and were going to die. However, another miracle has occurred and they are healthy? Maybe it was a false positive test, maybe God intervened; but regardless, our puppies are thriving! So, my mornings are very busy with puppy duty and getting the girls ready for school. How did I create such slloooowwww creatures? They eat slow, dress slow, brush hair/teeth slow. Is this normal? Have I just lived at a faster pace for too long? Wow...how annoying!!!
This was also the week for Christmas programs. All the girls had their holiday programs, plus we were able to get pictures with Santa for a very reasonable price at Lili's preschool: First Presbyterian Preschool in Arlington, TX. I will always promote them because they are AWESOME!!!
Another fun thing about this week was that my brother came into town. Now, I haven't seen Sam, my younger brother, for about 3 years. We're not a big talking family (I use up all my talking with my hispanic family! They talk for about 3 people each!) So, it was really nice to reconnect with him and catch him up on all that I've been going through and processing. We also got to gossip about our parents and compare notes. This way we can learn from each other's mistakes! :)
Physically, I've started the wean off the steroids. I think I'm a little sensitive to the steroids because other people have been on higher doses than me and not had all my symptoms. Therefore, I suppose that I started to experience withdrawal: headaches and lethargy/fatigue. It's so confusing because the main symptoms I'm having could be due to the steroids OR due to brain swelling! Which came first, the chicken or the egg??? I guess it's basically a moot point since I'll need to be on steroids again during radiation. I thought maybe I could hold off until I have symptoms.....but greater minds prevailed and lead me to see the light. I just hate admitting that I'm sick...or need medicine...or really need any kind of medical treatment! Besides the fear of the unknown to come, I think I really hate those moments when I have to admit I'm sick. I hate saying that - "sick". I need to come up with a better word - any suggestions? health-challenged? I saw the radiation oncologist this week and told her I would do the whole brain radiation. We're going to try to spare the hippocampus area, which will help reduce the possibility of cognitive dysfunction, and that's a pretty rare area for recurrence. I'll start when we get back from David's graduation on 12/20 and go for either 15 or 20 days. I got the pathology back of the brain tumor and that tumor is triple negative like the original tumor. Soooo, I'm not sure how long or even if I'll stay on the Tykerb and/or Herceptin. I"m thinking the Herceptin since the recurrence was HER2+, but maybe not the Tykerb (which is the oral medication I now take every day). According to my studies, my HER2 status is only "mildly" positive, so ever Herceptin is not as beneficial to me as say someone who is "strongly" positive. I'll meet with my medical oncologist at the end of the month to plan out the chemo. For radiation, it's the same type of side effects as before: I'll lose my hair, but they say more like after 2 weeks. Redness/burning/peeling of the skin on the scalp. I didn't have too many problems before and if I was red on Friday, by Monday I was a normal color again. Debating about getting my hair cut...I have the graduation and I wanna look nice, but jeesh - I'm gonna loose it all a couple weeks, why spend the money!?! There are other side effects: loss of appetite (I'm actually hoping for that one to counteract the steroid effects), nausea/vomiting, hearing issues, and fatigue.
I'm having some lymphedema issues. I think it's because the steroids are causing fat deposits to change and it affects my arm. I had my PT appointment today and I love those! I always feel better afterwards. But, now I'm wearing my sleeve again, looking like a dork! I think the worse side effect is the moon face. My face and neck are sooo smooth and puffy when I touch them. I have this beautiful double chin! It's sooo icky and I hate that people look at me and think this is what I really look like! ARGGG!! Here is my vanity coming out! Moon face, bloating and weight gain. Isn't cancer supposed to make you loose weight?? Oh, yes, of course: not breast cancer! Doesn't being overweight increase your risk of recurrence: of course it does! Doesn't obesity make you pay higher insurance premiums: of course it does! How FUN!
So, now the tiredness is setting in! I need to lay down and get a couple hours of sleep (of course I'll sleep on the plane as well!) I'm so excited about this weekend and getting to relax, and then about next week not having ANYTHING planned!!!! More rest!!!!
Last note: Chrismas gift wrapping party was last night and OMG!!! What crazy friends I have!!! I will make sure the next post is all about the party!
dont' worry about the weight gain and moon face. they are all temporary. we think in minutes and hours and days, but the bigger picture is really months and years. so, five years from now, you will look at this year as being an aweful time that thank goodness has already passed! and when you start to feel vain, just remember that every mommy is beautiful in the eyes of her children. i have not met a child yet that does not think their mom is the prettiest!
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