The highs and lows

Wow,  I think the steroids are fueling hormone surges!  I go from up to down soooo fast!

So, story of Monday:  First things first:  The PET scan that I took on Friday was CLEAR!!!!!!  (Well, it's a very confusing and technical report, but there are no scary words on it!)  I'm so happy about it.  I knew it would be that though.  I remember when I went to go look at my second biopsy report and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that it wasn't gonna be good.  No feeling like that.  Just knew it was gonna be fine.  I take it as a testiment to the strength God has given my body to fight this damn thing.  Yes, it's fast and it moved - but dang....it stayed small, well-prescribed to a single location AND I found out sooo FAST!   What positive signs!

Well, move from feeling great about telling people so a little reality shocker.  So, I feel like my symptoms are increasing: more headaches, vision really blurry, feel a little off-kilter.  I'm blowing it off, cuz...what are you gonna do?  I have a really large and well-matured brain - it doesn't like that little tumor taking up room!  HAHAHAHA!  But, I figure I should let someone know.  I hear my little conscious in the back of mind (otherwise known as Kaley) tell me to get on the phone...so I do.  I call the neurosurgeon - talk to the oncologist. Call the oncologist (she always does her calling at like 7pm, so it'll be a wait).  So, I figure she'll just say..okay, we'll write that down, thanks.  No.  Bum, bum, bum: increase steroids (MORE??? How will I ever sleep?), come in tomorrow for another brain scan.  It makes me nervous for why they want to do that?  What would it change?  Would it change surgery?  (Excuse me...I have plans already!  The 17th is close enough!)  My oncologist has already told me that sometimes I ask for too much information - what will this new scan give me?  Okay.. I'll stop now.  I think I'm probably scared of getting the contrast and last time it made me nauseous!  David did talk me down from my ledge and then I did some meditation before sleep, so while its an up and down process...I need to stay with my rock: there is a plan for me, and it is to survive and shine!