this is an update from David- her Loving Husband

I wanted to write on this blog one last time to let everyone know that my sweet Andrea has gone to meet our Lord on August 16 2016 at 1127 hrs. She passed away while holding my hand and kissing me good bye. She will be forever in our hearts, may her soul rest in peace and may her memory lives on forever in the hearts of our beautiful girls. We love you Andrea Jean Teran Chavez.
Now I will take care of our gils like you wanted me to, I will mold them into great women that will change those around them.
your Loving Husband (baby)
David

New Chemo

So now I am taking Zeloda.  It is an oral chemotherapy that I take twice a day for 14 days, then rest for 7 days.  My first round was pretty hard: rash, hand-food syndrome (so i couldn't walk d/t pain), fatigue, dizziness, major dehydration, uncontrollable urination (d/t all the water I was drinking).  It was just terrible.  My ecologist said I was on the highest treatment regimen, but I couldn't handle it.  Whether is was coming off steroids for a long time, or the chemo, I don't know, but I was miserable!! I reduced by next dose by 25% and this round is much better.  I'm watching my diet, eating less, walking on my treadmill and stretching.  My only major "complaint" is that I sleep a lot!  10 hours at night and then a 2-hour nap in the day time.  I also am not working, so I don't have to multitask, just focus on myself and the girls (who are now 14,10, and 8).  I am so thankful I got all these years with them!  I just am focusing on getting a couple more years in there to help them grow in responsible, mature people!  I have faith in Jesus that he will protect me and allow me to lead my children in Jesus' path.  I continue to have faith that this new chemo will control the growth of the tumors and give me the most time to focus on my kids!

History of my journey

So, just a little background into the history of my breast cancer journey.  I was diagnosed in September 2010, during a breast biopsy that was required by my surgeon before she took out some lumps.  Turns out the lumps were positive for breast cancer, Triple Negative - meaning no estrogen, progesterone or HER2 cells that can be killed by specific treatment.  Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) is high aggressive and difficult to treat, but they say the first 5 years is when re-growth is going to occur.  I was in Harlingen, TX at the time, so I didn't want to do major surgery down there with 3 young children, so I did chemo first, then continued chemo when I got a new job and moved back to Arlington TX.  David stayed in Harlingen to finish his degree in 12/2011.

So I finished chemo in May 2011, had my bilateral mastectomy with sentinel node dissection schedule for June 2011.  I had 1/7 nodes come back with tumors, so they wanted to do a full axillary node direction to be sure there were no other tumors.  After that surgery, I still only had 1 node out of 11 positive for TNBC.  So, while I was told I wouldn't need radiation, I was then advised to do breast radiation because of the positive lymph node.  But, I had planned on delayed reconstruction, so I needed to get implants placed.  I did this in August, so in September I could start radiation, which I did every day for like 3 weeks.  At which point, i felt another lump in my chest wall, and after a biopsy - yes the cancer had regrown!  So I had a lumpectomy and then restarted chemo for a last 9-day "boost".  The pathology came back that this tumor might be sensitive to the HER2 medicine, so I started that in October - only to have a horrible migraine with it - which I have never had a migraine before, so it was really concerning to me.  I had a brain scan, and lo and behold, it was breast cancer metastasized to my brain.  I had surgery to remove it in November and started whole brain radiation after David graduated.  Once that was done, I continued with the medication and routine scans, which were all normal.  In October 2012, I was complete with the special medicine and had "no evidence of disease"

At this point, I started to feel empty, because I'm taking my kids to church school and getting them baptized so they can take the sacraments in a catholic church, but I'm Lutheran, and am not allowed to participate in the Eucharist because of that.  So I started taking religious education classes in late 2012, and had my introduction into the Catholic faith on Easter 2013.  It was so nice to be able to partake in the Holy Communion and be a part of the Holy Trinity again.  It filled the empty space in my soul and I am so happy I did that.

With the grace of the Holy Spirit and my knowledge that Jesus and His Father were protecting me, I scheduled by reconstructive surgery in June 2013.  Please be aware that I took time off for surgeries, the basically I worked full-time through this process.  David was just getting started in his new profession, so I was pretty much the bread-winner the entire time.  That was another thing that kept me going.  I had to be strong for the family and for the girls.  I didn't want them to worry.  I think I was pretty successful with that - as my oldest (9 at the first round) doesn't seem to think I was in any danger! :)

Fortunately I had 2 years of clear scans with "no evidence of disease".  What a blessing to have that extra time.  Unfortunately, I did not take advantage of it.  I continued to work full time and multitask the girls activities with my work responsibilities.  I think I was expected a lot out of me.  I didn't eat healthier, I didn't start to exercise, I didn't try to cut down on stress.  I thought I could do it all.

Well, obviously I couldn't!  I started having problems with swelling in my arm and a scan revealed new tumors in my chest wall (not operational), as well as some area in some lymph nodes.  Then my routine brain scan revealed "numerous small tumors all thought the brain"  My radiation oncologist recommended that I get the Gamma Knife procedure, which is done at a local hospital here.  I had my first Gamma Knife 12/8/15.  Gamma Knife is basically pinpoint radiation, given from a lot of different areas, so the surrounding tissue is not receiving the full brunt, but it does get some.  Where the tumor was located, that area got the most intense radiation.  I was very positive that this would work, but my follow up exam showed growth in some of the tumors and new growth all through the brain.  So after a consult at MD Anderson, one of the premier cancer center, I decided to do another Gamma Knife, which we did on 4/28/16.  I have a follow up scan schedule later this week.  Keep you fingers crossed!!!

So, since  the original chemo did not do anything to the body (systemic), have stated an oral dose of chemo (I take pills) for 14 days, then have a 7-day rest period and then start again.  It is good for metastatic breast cancer and seems to have some blood-brain barrier transmission.  So, in addition to all this, my short-term disability I'm paying for will not pay out because of my pre-existing condition (cancer), my FLMA is about to expire, at which point I'll be on long-term disability.  None of these things come with any financial resources.  So, we are living off David's pay check - very easy to do - he works A LOT!!  But Im also having to pay my insurance premiums so I can keep my insurance.  I don't want to have to go to Social Security Disability Insurance - basically Medicare!

So that's my "brief" synopsis of my cancer journey!

Fear

So, I've been thinking a lot on this topic.  It turns out my children are totally fearful of almost everything.  They are scared someone will come to the house and take them (even when I'm home).  They are scared of walking 100 feet to my brother's house when it's dark (the coyotes will eat me).  They are scared of such remote risks, but then do stupid things that are risky (not putting on their seatbelt immediately - I still have to remind them, running wild in a parking lot, etc).  I look back on my own childhood and remember climbing trees to the top and I was swaying with the breeze.  I remember when I decided to walk home without telling anyone in elementary school.  I think it was like a 2-3 mile trip home.  I don't know if the difference is in personality or in environment and parenting, but it is something that is very hard for me to comprehend - fear of something happening.  My husband would call it naivety.  I'm just too naive or trusting to see the bad (in people, in a situation, etc).  I prefer to call it faith.  I will admit I have made some bad judgements in my life, but I  have had faith that everything would turn out okay (maybe not as a teenager, but in adult life). I found a saying at the beginning of my cancer journey and I  keep it in my office to remind me.  "Never borrow from the future.  If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain.  Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."  I have tried to follow this advice during my fight with breast cancer.  What good does worrying do?  Will it change what happens?  What good does questioning why do?  I have cancer.  Instead of lamenting the past, or worrying about the future, better to focus on the present.  

These thoughts have been in my mind as I contemplate my cancer recurrence.  I think the only things that really make me worry, or be fearful is the unknown - what will happen?  How can I make it easy for the people around me?  What can I expect to happen (the details).  My other fear is failure - letting people down.  I really haven't felt the fear and sadness that I felt the first time around.  I think it is because it is not unknown anymore.  While I don't yet have a treatment plan, I have pretty much done all the options - I know how chemotherapy is, I've done radiation, I've had surgeries and port placements and all sorts of stuff.  So the mechanics of cancer treatment is known to me.  I have a picture in my mind of how chemotherapy is administered, how my body responds, and how the cancer responds (staying in the positive frame of mind - cancer dies, minimal side effects!).  

So, I'm facing this new challenge with positivity and faith.  I am at peace with my life, I think I'm living a better life now than I was 6 years ago.  I have a wonderful husband and a great relationship with him.  I have kids that, although fearful, are curious, questioning, healthy and challenging (as all kids are).  I have family that support me through thick and thin and are always there for a break and work hard to help me out.  I have awesome friends who are only a text away from giving me a hug, a laugh or a drink!  I try to yell less, judge less, stress less, laugh more, enjoy the moment and accept people for who they are, not who I want them to be.  I may not succeed every day, but I try! :)

Christmas 2015

Christmas was really good this year.  It was low stress and family focused.  We had Christmas eve at my sister's place, opened a present for each kid and headed home by midnight.  Girls put out cookies and milk for santa, left him a letter and went to bed.  Of course, Lili was the first one up, and was SO excited for her new bike,  she wanted to go out immediately and ride it!  Fortunately, it was like 60 degrees outside, so no big deal.  The other girls were happy about their bikes from santa, but no as much as Lili.  I made pancakes, cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate while my sister-in-law made bacon and we hosted the immediate family here at the ranch for Christmas morning.  It was a very calm (now that the kids are older) opening of presents.  Yerena is so hilarious as she opens presents that she really wanted.  First, her hoverboard for her birthday (and yes, we still have it and it hasn't exploded or even had extra hotness during charging) and now her iPod 6 for christmas.  I had planned to make a fire in the fireplace, but - at 75 degrees outside, it wouldn't have been appreciated.  It was a good thing I didn't.  The next day, it was 30-40 degrees outside and wouldn't you know it, the heater was acting up.  So I had a fire started, but even with the flue open, it smoked into the house.  Turns out, we don't have a chimney cap, so all the rain was dropping down on the fire and smoking it out!  Another project on the "honey-do" list.  I look forward to next year when my parents have finished their winter home in Rapid City, SD.  I'm hoping I can finally enjoy a Christmas fire there!

Okay, I have figured out how to add pictures.  I will continue to add pictures as I get them organized. That was so confusing!  For being known as a "computer person" at work, this apple - iCloud - photo buckets - blogs - templates - formatting - ARRGGG!!!!!  I'm on steroids, people!  I can't handle this!!!

Well, I promised to update, so here is my update.

Of course, it is 0330, but that what happens when you're on steroids.  Life sucks and you can't sleep.

It's so funny about these steroids.  I would consider them the WORST drugs in the entire world.  I dislike them WAAAYYY more then chemotherapy and radiation.  They are supposed to be used to prevent swelling in the brain and any symptoms related to tumors in the brain: headaches, vision changes, balance issues, etc.  However, for me in particular, I had no symptoms when I started taking steroids (both times).  So, now, after starting the drug, I feel like crap.  Headaches, vision changes, stuffy head, can't sleep, bad taste in my mouth, wanting to eat, bloating after eating anything, constipation, weight gain and swelling in my face.  Just such a contradiction!  I guess it's like chemo - its a drug that kills cells, so while its killing the bad cancer cells, its also killing healthy cells.  Just have to take the good with the bad.


So, as I'm sitting here I'm reminded that I've been here before.  This is going to be a different blog this time around - because now its not new.  I've done this rodeo before, and won it.  So that's my mindset coming into this.  It's not as scary, because now I know what to expect.  And I know I can overcome and persevere.  And as I reflect  back to the first journey, I can appreciate the differences in me now.

Just a recap for anyone who was curious: I was first diagnoses in September 2010.  David and I were living in Harlingen, TX (right at the border) and he was in PA school.  I was the only one working and kept the insurance.  The girls were 9, 4, and 2.  We were out there on our own, with all family back in Arlington TX, 9 hours away.  I had a great opportunity to return to Arlington with a job offer at Methodist Dallas Medical Center and I took it.  It brought me and the girls back to family in Arlington, but David was left in Harlingen to finish school and pack up the life we had started down there.  The girls and I came back to live with David's brother in a small little house.  It was challenging, but family always pulls through!  So much support, not just from old friends, but new ones with my new work family.  Couldn't have made it through the first round without them!

So treatment the first time around:
I had triple negative invasive ductal carcinoma.  I do not have any genetic or family history.  Triple negative means it does not have any targeted therapy specific for it.  I decided to do chemotherapy first.  So I had 6 months of chemotherapy before I did a bilateral mastectomy.  I was going to do delayed reconstruction, so it was a pretty simple procedure.  However, I did have to go back to remove the lymph nodes from the L side (where the cancer was).  That prompted my medical team to recommend breast radiation (which was a new development).  So then I needed to get implants and start breast radiation.  Everything was going well until I developed a local recurrence and it turned out to be HER2+.  This particular strain is fairly aggressive and fast -growing. So...more surgery, radiation and new chemotherapy.  Pretty much immediately after that, and almost by accident, we discovered a brain tumor!  Had a really bad headache after taking the new chemotherapy and the doc wanted a brain MRI - which found the tumor and I had had no symptoms.  So, then I had surgery to remove the brain tumor, which was caused by the original triple negative tumor, followed by whole brain radiation to prevent any recurrence in the brain.  I continued on the chemotherapy for the HER2+ tumor until October 2012, which was my last treatment.  I then had my breast reconstruction surgery in 2013.  Since then, I have been healthy, happy, enjoying my family and friends and taking every day as the blessing it is.  I struggle every day with all the same issues, but I think my outlook on life has changed.  I try not to be a perfectionist and hold too high of standards (decrease stress and cortisol).  Be a forgiving person and not judging others

Back to today:  I saw my regular oncologist today.  So we have an initial plan.
This brain recurrence was noted on my routine check-up.  I again had no symptoms.  But, fortunately, it was noted when it was, because I was about to change my insurance levels since it had been 5 years since diagnosis.  It was a pretty big marker!  I was able to make sure my insurance levels were the most appropriate for what I'm going to be dealing with.  My radiation oncologist immediately referred me to UTSW for a consult and I'm scheduled for what's called a Gamma Knife procedure to kill the "rocks in my brain" as I am calling them.  It's basically super focused beams of gamma radiation sent to each tumor to kill it.  I have a lot of them, so my prayers right now are focused on getting enough radiation to each and every single tumor to kill it and shrink them from my head!  It's a non-invasive "surgery" and I'll be home on the same day.  However, those tumors came from somewhere, so the next challenge is to figure that out.  I have been getting body scans frequently through the years.  Me and the CT team are buddies!  So, I have had these little nodules on my lungs for awhile, but they have stayed really small and stable.  I just recently had a slight enlargement of them, but wanted to wait a little longer for the biopsy.  So, I will be having a PET scan, which is looking at the cellular level for any disease.  That will guide where I should have any biopsies (like obviously the lungs, but anywhere else.  We need t biopsy those areas to determine the type of cancer that might be growing and send little seeds to my brain.  Is is the first  cancer - triple negative, or is it the recurrence - HER2+?  That will determine the type and course of treatment.

So, this is familiar to me.  It's not as scary.  While the severity of the diagnosis has been pretty shocking, I am trying to avoid it and focus on the familiar.  I have done this before.  I have survived.  My kids are happy and well adjusted.  I have a wonderful relationship with my husband.  I have a huge family committed to my well-being.  I have so many wonderful and supportive friends to keep a smile on my face.  I have an awesome job and co-workers who allow me to time to heal and recover and put up with my while I'm in treatment!  I live on a beautiful ranch with horses and wildlife to commune with and my husband has a job that will cover our expenses.  I am blessed.  I will endure.  I will survive again.  What other option is there?  None.  So, while doubts might come up, and fears, I will push them aside and look to all the inspiring scripture and quotes that people have been sending me.  I will keep my spirit uplifted and take joy in all the simple things I see everyday, and all the silly things I share with those around me.

Thank you to all who care about me.  I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and love and encouragement from everyone.  I guess my parents must've done something right!

So, obviously this page needs to be updated.  I still had hair in this picture!  Hard to believe it was 4 years ago.  My the time has flown!  But not too quickly.  I have immensely enjoyed watching my children grow into the beautiful young women and girls they have become today.  My fight right now is to beat back this cancer which didn't seem to get the memo I had sent it 4 years ago, so that I can continue to be amazed at these wonderfully unique individuals as they grow and mature!

I'll return here with updated photos.  I hate taking pictures of myself, so I'll have to scrounge around for some photos that I will consent for everyone to see!

I'll also give an update of the course of this cancer, but I'm not ready to delve into that yet.  I still want to stay oblivious and avoid the issue.  As my procedure will be next week, I don't have too much time left to spend like that!

Check back this weekend, I'll post then and update the pictures.  Love you all and thanks for reading!

Andrea

Bowling for Boobies!

Just wanted to let everyone know about a fun event for the family in May.  Come and join us bowling on Saturday, May 5th from 12:00-2:00 at

Brunswick Watauga Lanes

7301 Rufe Snow Dr, Fort Worth, TX 76148-1858.

 

The cost is $60 for a team of 4 and all the fun you can muster!  There will be T-shirts available to order (I'll post the picture when I get it!)  If you want, you can be a corporate sponsor for $100 (and get your name on the shirt).

If you can't come and enjoy yourself, you can always donate a few dollars.  Email fightlikeandrea@hotmail.com for more info!

Scentsy Fundraiser

To all my followers:

Well,  I am feeling almost 80% again and am back working full-time.  However, by this point we expected my husband to have a job, and unfortunately that has not happened yet.  SOOOO.....

If you like Scentsy's (which I happen to love!), you can click on this link: https://smellthis1too.scentsy.us/Scentsy and under "My Open Parties" find my fundraiser (Andrea Teran-Chavez Fundraiser) and order some scents.  A portion of the proceeds go to me to help feed my kids!  My favorite is "You Go Girl" and "Lonicera" (because it has honeysuckle!)

Fundraiser closes on April 10th!  Get your order in by then.

Thank you all for any help you can provide!  I appreciate every penny!

Andrea

NED

NED:

I think that's the word for me: No Evidence of Disease.  I had a scare the other week because I had no appetite, was nauseous and throwing up.  I thought maybe it had spread to my liver.  But, I had a CT scan and it was all clear!  That, along with my clear MRI last month add up to NED.

So, now at this point I move past the "treatment" phase and into the maintenance phase.  I will get brain MRI's every 3-4 months and CT of the chest/abdomen/pelvis every 6 months. I will continue to treatment of Herceptin (because the breast recurrence was HER2+) for a year, so until about October 2012.  That's fine because it doesn't make me feel bad or anything.  I just need to be on the "lookout" I guess for any funky symptoms.  That's gonna be a little getting used to.  I had a headache yesterday and the first thing I think is, OMG - its back.  I know it's only a matter of time - I just hope that it's like 10+ years time.  Right now I'm thinking what a tough road for me, to always have that worry in the back of my head.  I just hate worrying! I just sucks the fun out of life!  I know, I know: keep my faith, live life to the fullest, enjoy my family and friends.  I am!  There is so much that I have plans to do (but again, priorities!)  I want to form some kind of traditions that my kids will remember about me.  I want to start exercising.  I want to create something (if only I was creative!)  All these good intentions and so few hours to do them.  At least, that's my excuse!  I know that it all boils down to priorities and I need to set those things as priorities.  So, let's see if in the season of easter and re-birth, if I can get these things going.

Little Scared

So, I just got a letter in the mail notifying me of an appointment with my oncologist.  So, that means that the test results are back and I'll get my chemo plan.  I'm a little apprehensive.  It's been so nice to feel okay and be able to work and do the things I'm accustomed to doing (except cleaning of course!).  This is just a whole big bucket of unknown and y'all know how much I hate that!

I really have felt good.  I don't really have any fatigue (or at least very slight) and my scalp doesn't hurt anymore.  I'm losing a little more hair, but when it's this short, it doesn't fall out, so it's only when I "run my fingers through my peach fuzz" that some comes out!  The main thing would be the food issue.  I have no desire to eat and anything I do is like paste.  I think a lot of what I feel is due to that.  But, I don't even want to take vitamins because all the pills make me nauseous.  Then the dreaded heartburn!

But other than that, I'm doing pretty good.  The girls are doing well and I'm so excited for David to start working so I can get them in some activities.  They want gymnastics and dance.  Lili LOVES dance and is always talking about it.  Unfortunately, David won't start working until about 3/1/12, which means he won't get paid until mid April!  February is our birthday month: David, Mama Nena & Lili, plus a couple of my good friends.  I would love to enjoy some awesome cupcakes, but I'm not holding my breath!

weight loss plan

Hello to all,

So, it's been a very productive week.  I spent the last two weeks dealing with work.  Gotta get the money coming in somehow!  Fortunately, the fatigue from radiation quickly resolved.  As I spoke in my last post, I'm on the post-radiation starvation diet because everything tastes HORRIBLE (as my 3 year old would say!).  I've lost the weight from steroids, plus a little bit more.  I'm not sure how much since I don't have a scale in the house!  However, now I feel hungry.  Every restaurant and fast food place I pass I think "Wow, I would like to eat there!" I have never felt the urge to cook as I do now when in the grocery store - "Oh, that looks good, I should get that!"  I'm talking even microwave dinners!  I'm hoping that I get through the craving phase while I still can't eat and then when I have a sense of taste back, I will be happy with fruit and vegetables!  Right now, the only thing I can tolerate is liquid and apples.  But I can't even eat a whole apple, just half.  It seems like anything that sits in my mouth turns to this nasty mush.  The dry mouth from radiation and my treatments don't help the issue I think. 

But anyways, enough with that!  I just did my treatment on Friday, so I won't have to do that again for 3 weeks.  I'm still waiting on test results from the consulting physician for her to make her recommendation for chemo.  I will be so happy to start that because it will be the beginning of the end.  I am so tired of this process!  It needs to be over so I can get on with life.  I almost feel like I'm holding my breath for something else to happen.  I'm glad that my radiation oncologist wants to do brain MRI frequently to monitor for anything.  I have my first on at the end of February, then every 3 months.  David keeps talking about the future and where he'll work and where we'll live and all I can think is - who know what will happen in the next couple of months, how can I plan 2 years in the future!??!  I do have faith that I will be around for awhile, but I don't want to "jinx" anything by having expectations.  Would that be taking advantage of God's grace?  Having expectations that he will protect me from more cancer just seems a little presumptuous.  I also think to the saying: "Don't worry about tomorrow, because if it happens you worried double, and if it doesn't, wasted today worrying about it"  So, I would rather just not think about it and take each day as it comes!


73 DAYS CANCER FREE                                                              FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!

Long Time, No See

Well ladies and gentlemen,

Sorry for the delay in posting, but we just got our internet connected.  Did you know that it is very difficult to post from a phone, and it is very difficult to manage email!

Well, a lot has happened since my last post.  We have moved into the house, I've started working again (part time only - bless my bosses and co-workers!), and....I've competeled brain radiation!  YEAHHH!!!  18 days.  It actually wasn't too bad to start with, I pretty much slept during treatments, but now at the end of it - worst therapy I have had to do!  Scalp got really tender at about day 14 (right on schedule), so much so that I actually took a narcotic for it!  For those of you that know me - I hate to take pills, even tylenol (I'd rather go to sleep to get rid of it!), so this is pretty significant.  I was debating whether or not to shave my head.  My radiation oncologist said that she didn't know what parts would fall out and what would stay because the radiation was hitting and so many different angles.  So I didn't want to prematurely shave everything when maybe only a little bit would fall out.  But, eventually I caved and shaved - but just the top part where is hurt the most.  I did it myself and I cried a little.  NOt about shaving my head - hair grows back (usually), but just that I have to do it AGAIN!!! It's just not fair! :(  But, then I had to laugh because when I shave just the top and leave the rest as is, it makes me look like on of those old monks - the ones that leave a ring around their ears long (I don't know if its on purpose or just baldness)?  My kids kept saying "Take off your hat so I can see your funny hair!"  So, eventually I just shaved the whole thing.  (when I say shave, I really mean clippers!)  So, now that its all done, I do have a couple bald patches in the front, but overall I have all my hair.  But, this is better anyways because I don't have to worry about bad hair days - I just throw a hat or scarf on - easy peasy!

Other side effects:
Fatigue.  It's not so bad really.  I have no activity tolerance as far as stairs and walking long distances.  Weekends I spend lounging around.  We should get cable this weekend, so I can watch my shows.  Plus, I can catch up on Bones with my computer!
Dry Mouth: I think this one is from one of the medications I'm on.  But, it's pretty annoying!
Taste changes: At first this was mild and all I could really tolerate was some rotisserie chicken and corn/green beans.  But now it has progressed to pretty much everything.  Even the taste of Kool-Aid!  I don't know what it is, but it is soooo disgusting to put in my mouth.  I can smell the wonderful aroma, but once its in my mouth: GROSS!
Anorexia: Well, at least I don't have a desire to eat!  I'm hoping this will help me loose some of the weight I gained during the last couple of months and also to release me from my carb addiction.  They say it takes at least 2 weeks to start a new habit, so I'm hoping that within the next week, I'll have some taste and desire to eat back and I won't have the carb cravings!
Skin Changes: Well, my forehead and scalp are burned, but its actually starting to improve since I haven't had treatment for 2 days.  Skin around nails is bad again - most likely from the meds I'm on.
Rash: Worst side effect besides the taste!  I guess I had had the rash (mild though) for a couple of weeks on my calves and face.  However, it erupted on Wednesday.  COmpletely covers my legs, butt, on my back and chest and arms.  And it ITCHES!!!  Mainly it bothers me at night - when I'm trying to sleep!  Tonight I took a benadryl and we'll see how that works.  The doctor stopped one of my meds that most likely caused it.  I'm okay with that because we're still waiting on the 2nd pathology viewings to confirm the type of breast cancer all my tissues are.

So, basically of the 4 times tumor has been removed here in Dallas, 3/4 classify me as triple negative (or no receptors that have targeted therapy).  Only 1 was classified as HER2+, which is why I'm taking medication right now.  For the chemotherapy plan, it really depends on what type of breast cancer they are gonna consider me.  So, the consulting guru at Baylor Dallas requested the tissue be re-tested before she makes her recommendation.  So, I'm waiting for the retesting, then the consultation between the guru and my doc before I know chemo plan.  So, it's a possibility that I won't even be taking these particular drugs in the future.  I don't know how I feel about that.  On one hand: great, no more side effects!  One the other: well, what if these drugs are keeping the cancer at bay?  I guess I need more info to make a decision.  I think either option sucks - just like cancer sucks!

Well, there is my update!  I'll keep updating often to let y'all know the ups and downs of my life.  Y'all so sweet to care! :)

64 days cancer free                                      FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!!!

Treatment plan

So I saw my oncologist yesterday, both radiation and medical. Looks like I can come off steroids, YEAH!!!!!!!!! Have to stay on the seizure meds (I just wanted off those cuz I have taking meds!). Radiation is doing well, I think the majority of my issues are from tykerb, but I don't have an appetite and food tastes bad. So this time around, I'm not eating till I find something good, I'm just NOT gonna eat! I have 20 lbs to loose ( at least)! As for chemo, my doc consulted with a local expert in triple negative disease (which is the pathology of the cancer). Of the 4 samples they tested, 3 were triple negative and 1 HER2+. So, that makes a big difference in treatment, mainly that there are drugs targeted to the HER2 (which I'm currently taking). However, if my tumor is really triple negative, then there are different drugs I should take. Sooo, they are sending ALL my tissue samples to this doc and her pathologists to retest and confirm. So, after radiation ee'll discuss again!!

On a happy note: my house is empty and all my stud is on the new house. Just thrown in the house, but there nonetheless!!!!

Bad day

Wow! Yesterday I was down for the count. I had to have David drive me to radiation and then I spent the rest of the day in bed. I mean, I couldn't even sit up in bed!! In fact, both the little girls slept with me during the day too, so I think these past 2 weeks of moving has really done us in!! Fortunately, I woke up today with strength and ready to finish moving!! We're almost done and David has really done it all by himself, again!! When we moved from Harlingen to Dallas, he did the same thing!! After we get all the stuff in the house, I think we will live in chaos for awhile so we can relax!!!

Radiation treatment is going well. I'm not bothered by it, but my scalp is tender and food doesn't taste the same, and I don't really have an appetite. Good thing I have plenty of steroid-driven fat to live off of!! Hopefully I can get off the steroids for good next week. I find out my chemo plan today, so I'll let y'all know about that too.

I go back to work next week as well! I think my time off has been busier than life before ever was!!!

42 days cancer free. FIGHT LIKE A GIRL

I must have a problem!

Why can't I ever slow down?

Is is that I have a problem organizing my life, or am I still in a little bit of denial?  I think I want to stay busy because then it means I'm not sick, but on the other hand - why am I so busy if I'm not working right now?  Holy cow!  I did get a short nap today, though!  That's a positive!

Well, didn't start radiation today.  Today was the x-ray to make sure that the planning was accurate.  It's really cool, the two Texas Oncology offices are battling on whose radiation plan is "better".  I don't know all the technical things that make one plan better than the other, but regardless, it's pretty cool to know people are working hard to make the best treatment plan!  So, tomorrow I will find out if I'll do my treatments at Dallas or at Charlton office. (They are both fairly close to the house, so it's no difference to me - except I don't have my buddies at the Charlton office!)

So, tomorrow afternoon will be R-day.  I had the mask on today for the x-ray and it wasn't too bad, hopefully I'll be able to do my relaxation breaths, self-hypnotize and take a power nap!

33 days cancer-free                                     FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!

Radiation

So, we're back at home after David's graduation!  It was so nice to see him complete his journey.  He has spend 23 years in school and has gotten the range of dipolomas that academia has to offer: HS diploma, certificate, Associate's Degree, Bachelor's Degree and now Master's Degree.  I'm gonna try to hold him off for awhile on the Medical Degree/PhD!  I need a break!!  Oh, and I need some money!  He has already verbally accepted a job in the emergency department of a local hospital.  We're really excited about that!  He was really looking for a job in the ED!

So, the plan today is that I will start radiation.  I spoke to my radiation oncologist yesterday.  (I love her so much!  She listens to everything I say and really takes it into consideration!)  I have spots reserved for me at two locations, so see which location will be a better fit for what they are going to do for me.  They are "sparing" or not radiating the hippocampus area.  THis area is involved in memory - short-term and long-term.  This was important for me because I didn't want to forget the detailed information that I teach, nor have problems incorporating new information into my classes.  So, she got really detailed brain scans, mapped out the brain areas really well and then adjusted the radiation treatments to avoid that area!  Isn't that amazing what we can do with technology!?  And listening to patients!?  Incredible!  So, they will call me today with a time to go, and I will be doing 17 treatments. I've been told my hair will fall out about 2 weeks into treatment and the fatigue begins around then too.  So, that will get me past the holidays!

I haven't really been thinking about radiation.  It was hard to do the first round, like I said before, but now I know what to expect.  I know it doesn't hurt and it goes pretty quickly.  But, as I've said before, my coping technique is avoidance!  It probably won't hit me until I'm there in the room with my hannibel lector mask strapped to my face!

I'll let y'all know how it goes, but so far I'm feeling okay!

33 days cancer-free                                         FIGHT LIKE A GIRL

Ay-yi-yi: does it ever slow down?

Wow,

So many exciting things going on!  David has completed school!  YEAH!!! The only thing left is the actual graduation and banquet this weekend.  He has a couple job possibilities that are very exciting, so we're really happy about that!  But with graduation, comes....arranging on how to get 20 people down there at the same time (plus with the correct hair color and clothes - always important!) :P  The other exciting change is the upcoming move!  I'm so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to move into a MUCH bigger home.  It is a really nice house (did I mention it was my sisters and since she's moving into a new home, she's letting me move into the old one?)  So, not only am I moving, but she is too!  So, that's 2 moves in the SAME WEEK!!!  We are too crazy!  I'll be happy once we're in because then I start radiation, so I'll have a nice big house to relax in, with separate rooms for the kids when I need to separate them!

Did my radiation simulation this week.  Had to get a detailed brain MRI for it, which showed no new tumors - YEAH!!!  I am so impressed at my treatment team!  They have really listened to me and taken everything I have wanted into consideration.  They are going to "spare" parts of my brain that would result in more cognitive impairment.  It makes the treatments longer (like 20 minutes vs 5), but it does give me peace of mind that I will hopefully still be able to speak about the fetal oxy-hemoglobin disassociation curve!  Radiation will most likely start next Tuesday.  I still don't know if it'll be 15 or 20 days, but I'll know next week.

I'm back in physical therapy for lympedema in my arm.  It is getting a little uncomfortable now and I get some numbness.  I think it's cause of all the weight redistribution from steroids.  It hurts to lift my arms up because I'm so fat!!!  In fact, to be able to look down and see my mediport in my chest, I have to physically move my cheek!  Isn't that so sad it's hilarious!!  I also have a lot of swelling in my legs.  I'm not sure if its from being fat or steroids?  I've gained about 10 pounds, so I need to start controlling myself and not letting steroids be an excuse for me.  I think I did pretty well today, so that's day 1!  Everyday will be a challenge because I sure like those carbs!

So, onwards into the day.  It's just about time to get up and get everyone ready for the day.  My goal is to find a graduation outfit that downplays my chipmunk face! :)

28 days cancer-free                                            FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!

Gift Wrapping Party

Okay, so I promised to post about the gift wrapping party!  CRAZY!!!  All you ladies are crazy!  I just can't believe the amount of stuff that was given to my family.  It makes me feel a little uncomfortable because there are sooooo many families out there that are struggling.  I always come back to the fact that y'all gave these gifts out of the goodness and generosity in your hearts to make this Christmas be as stress-free as possible for me.  I soooo appreciate that!  I'm trying to wrap my brain around that and just accept the gifts.  It's hard, ladies! I'm telling you!  I don't know if its hard because I want to be independent (I don't think so), because I want to be one giving to others (maybe a little) or because I want to be the honey badger (most likely).

It makes me start to psychoanalyze myself a little.  Sooo, if you don't like psychoanalysis, you may want to skip this section!  I think I have always wanted to "prove" myself worthy.  To my parents, my friends, my co-workers...anyone.  That I'm worthy of the love and attention they give me, etc.  So, I do a lot to make sure I have done that.  Maybe even go overboard.  But while I like when people give me feedback that what I did was good, I still have this thought that I'm just barely getting by, barely doing the minimum.  So, I know I always joke about how awesome I am, and how smart I am, but I think I say that because I don't really believe it.  And when I joke about it, and people joke back with me, then I can "blow off" what they say as a joke.  "See, we really don't think you're smart or awesome...we're all joking about it." kind of thing.  So, all this support I'm getting now isn't a joke.  It can't be played off as a joke, or something that isn't important.  It shows that people are genuine and sincere in their donations.  You are giving these gifts because it means something to you, that I meant something to you.  And I think that is what is the hardest for me to accept.  That I did have an impact.  It's what I've thought about that I've wanted to accomplish for my life: to impact people and help them change (usually in a professional context).  But I don't think I really thought that I did it.  Then I received a card, out of the blue, from Brownsville telling me how much they appreciated my contribution to their unit.  WOW!  I have that card in my purse because I like to read it often.  When I look at my list of what I wanted to accomplish, versus what I actually did, I see that I left many things out.  But when you change perspective, I helped people accomplish a lot on their units.

I don't feel like I am doing anything special.  I feel like I am just putting one foot in front of the other and doing what needs to be done.  But as I read other blogs about people with breast cancer I realize a couple things: 1: this spiritual "awakening" and re-prioritization of life are not unique to me!  Everyone has these feelings and 2: most people are like I was in September 2010 - have a plan, wipe out cancer and never think about it again.  The reality is starting to set in that I will never be able to forget I had cancer.  It will be a constant battle.  It's not an unwinable battle.  It's just a constant: medical, diet, exercise, stress/priorities.  My life will never be the same...My perspective has changed.  Of course, we're still in the transitional phase.  Some days are easier to accept the change than others.  What do I want to do?  How do I want to spend my time?  These are questions that will need to be answered as I get stronger and better.

Okay, that's enough of all that.  I don't really know what I said or what I was trying to say, but a least I can look back on this post and remember!  Sooo, back to the party!  My friend Kaley is such a surprise fanatic!  She planned this huge thing where I had to go on a "treasure" hunt with clues.  People: I just had brain surgery and I am on steroids.  I just read a book, but those damn steroids effect your mood and concentration and my frustration tolerance is at an all time LOW!  But, nevermind - Kaley made these little "clues" about where I could find my "surprise".  So I had clues that revealed to me a $1, $5, $10, $20 and $50 bill, then came the big one.  (I'm just gonna tell everyone - I required A LOT of help to find these surprises).  The big surprise was the total amount from the bracelets: $2700!!!!!!!!!!  All because of you guys!  You guys love to sell!!!  All you guys: from Baylor family, Methodist family, Brownsville family, my family AND strangers!  It's ridiculously cool!  (and as a side note, I don't know why I feel more comfortable with this and not with the gifts?)  It was amazing!  I'm putting that money in savings.  Right now I am using all the donations and bracelet money to pay bills.  I've run out of my PTO/sick time.  So, we expect that David should have a job by the end of February because he needs his license and DEA number first.  Whatever is left over will cover medical expenses.  We'll start a new year with a new deductible soon, so we'll have some immediate bills.

So, back to the gifts....there are so many that it fills up the entire back of the Tahoe: back seat and trunk!  It was amazing!  I don't know what the kids said because I left to California very early the next day.  I'm actually still here.  I leave tomorrow to go back to reality!

It was a great trip in Venice Beach with my friend Nancy.  She's the only friend from college I keep in touch with!  That's a lasting friendship!  I got to walk around her really great neighborhood and imagine a different life (with my family) and how awesome it would be (of course, reality never matches the dream, but it seems like a nice dream).  I got my first ever Thai massage, I got a haircut, I rode a bike (haven't done that in a long time either!).  Best of all, I got to really have adult conversations with my friend.  It was great and relaxing and I wanna do it again!  Stay away cancer so I can go visit all my friends in cool cities!  (Like New Orleans, Kim!)

So, tomorrow I leave..and I'll probably need to bug Nancy to get up and take me (she is not a morning person!) :)))  (That's the best I can do for a smiley - remember what happened last time?), so I need to go to bed!

I learned this in a blog I was reading...I will use the same sign-off for all my posts now.  I think it's cool
24 Days Cancer-free                            Fight Like a Girl!